My Heart of My Heart

So I have all these plans for posts. And I’m working it to get my blog looking good and maybe scoring a little extra money someday from this venture.

I’m feeling good about things, even if progress goes.so.slow.

Yesterday I took the 4 heathens to the local state park beach. We met friends and had a nice day. It’s finally summer here in Maine (yeah I know only took 2 months to show up). We’ll have this weather for approximately one month before cold steely dark gray death swamps its way in. So we try to enjoy as much as possible. FYI- Maine has a state parks pass that’s worth it’s weight in gold. It’s a fraction of what you spend in admission fees for parks ALL over our great state. Beaches, historic sites, loads of hiking (both trail and mountains). Land and wildlife preservation is a BIG deal to us Mainers.

So we are all packed up and headed home. Micro heathen was snoozing and i made a quick pit stop at a farm market for produce. Is it just me or do kids eat approximately 45 pounds of apples, oranges, berries and bananas and 65 pounds of carrots, cucumber and celery in 4 days? So i loaded my box of mid week produce into our large SUV (I will die before i cave into the mini van). And off we went.

And I promptly mired myself into the wrong lane, turning onto a longer back way home. Sigh, whatever, I thought to myself. We aren’t in a major hurry and it’s only 3 or 4 extra minutes.

Driving the slightly winding back road, there’s a turn to a semi private beach. A car was waiting to turn into, so I slowed to a stop and was talking to my daughter in the passenger seat.

I heard brakes squealing and before it registered I felt the impact shove us forward.

Have you ever felt the whole world get the air sucked out like a black hole? My heart stopped. And I immediately grabbed my daughter and started checking everyone over. Panic welled up inside me like a tidal wave.

My babies. ALL my babies are in this car. This car. Someone just hit my car.

My eldest son was in the third row seat. Are you ok? How do you feel?

The next half hour was awash in accident reports and damage inspection and exchanging information. The girl was barely driving age, had been talking on her phone and because of the glare didn’t see my gigantic gray SUV stopped until it was too late to stop.

(*so you know we are all fine, the trailer hitch on our truck took the brunt of the impact. Micro heathen slept through it, he’s still rear facing in his seat which I’m certain helped dull the impact. Mini heathen is also still in a 5 point harness. I’m a HUGE advocate for car seat safety and have a post planned down the line. The insurance company will be replacing their seats)

I can’t explain this shaking terror I can still feel. That feeling of your world stopping.

Someone said once: “Life is what happens to us while we are busy making other plans” (some people say it was John Lennon but I think it was said long before that).

Life is painful and messy and wonderful and exciting. Sometimes it’s dull and boring and monotonous. And it has a way of reminding you that it’s short and there are fewer things more important than those you love.

My world:

Sebago Lake Park Maine

State Park Camping is the best!

Be well folks.

xo

 

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